Virtual Pwnies

Virtual Pwnies
Delving into the overlooked world of horses in media and video games.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry Christmas 2012!

Merry Christmas from all of us at Virtual Pwnies and the Roadside Landscaping Horse!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

2012 Apocalypse Ponies

Well, 12/21/12 came and went.  And according to some historians it already came and went awhile ago since modern calendars are apparently way off.  Most blame the Mayans for this prediction of the end of the world.  But the Mayans never did predict the end of the world.

Yay history!

Most people wonder what the apocalypse would have entailed since details were lacking.  Some say the poles would reverse, destroy all satellites, cause continental shift ect, ect.  Others say a rogue planet would hit the earth, not unlike Lars von Treir's Melancholia.

:cough:Unnecessary friesian at (1:28):cough:

 Still others have a firm belief that humans will die due to their own hubris, from messing with the world and altering it with chemicals and science.  I'm, of course, talking about the most poetic of all Apocalypse Scenarios.  The ZOMBIE Apocalypse.

The Walking Dead is n(e)igh!

I even have a book on my shelf in case of such a reanimated former-human emergency.  The Zombie Survival Guide.  While the plan of "Going to the Winchester, having a pint, and waiting till the whole thing blows over" is a really good idea, this goes in depth if you don't live in Britain where bars are more sturdy against the undead.

For instance, it has horses in the chapter on transportation.  Horses would be beneficial in the apocalypse since they don't need gas to run and act as an early warning system against the shambling hoards.  However, they lack self-defense.

Or you can do what Sarah did with Uther on Youtube and clicker train your horse to not only make an escape.  But take out as many walkers as possible on the way!

Had the zombie apocalypse happened, we like to think they had a good chance of survival.

Artist's interpretation

Had the positive reinforcement not failed...

Horses have been an integral part of the apocalypse in Judeo-Christian lore.  In the form of the four horses of the apocalypse.

The 4 horses of the apocalypse have even shown up in video games.  Like Darksiders, where you play the horseman War and obtain his kick-rump steroid steed named Ruin. 

Awww...  It's like a rhino-pony-volcano abomination of awesome.

Even Red Dead Redemption decided to take their spin on the 4 horses.  During a zombie apocalypse in the alternate universe of Undead Nightmare.  Forget Cowboys and Aliens.  We have Cowboys and Zombies!  There are even normal horses turned into zombies in this game and the decaying, yet at the same time accurate, anatomy accomplished on them is outstanding.  They have accurate teeth (with canines) and proper neck vertebrae placement.

 Out of the 4 horses, Pestilance has a swarm of lucusts that... don't really do anything, and a high pain threshold.  While Famine has the power of ocular bleeding... and infinite stamina.  Both of them are 'eh' since ALL of the 4 horses technically have a 'high pain threshold" by being practically immortal and all have an infinite stamina bar.  But War is on fire, and Death explodes zombie heads on impact.  You can guess which ones most people ride in the game.

Happy 14th Baktun!  Enjoy the world until the next apocalypse.  I'm off to play some Red Dead Redemption Undead Nightmare!